Am I gay or OCD? or a mix of something else?

My cousin did this same thing to me and I am the same way!! It makes me so mad. But I got a boyfriend and started caring for him a lot and still isn't like Oh MY GOSH! I LOVE MEN! but It's made me realize that I can claim being straight because I'm with him and it makes me feel a little better. I still get like cravings to kiss girls though or touch them. I think It's something we will always have to live with because its something we experienced growing up. But you definately need to get out more. Do some fun things and meet some new people if you can. Go to church or a club and just have some fun let loose